


Reproduction Isn't Just For Dragon Mamas and Future AUs Anymore

by Dandybear



Category: DCU
Genre: Baby Fic, Birds of Prey, F/F, Femslash February, Fluff, The New 52 can go to hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-21
Updated: 2013-02-21
Packaged: 2017-11-30 01:00:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/693557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dandybear/pseuds/Dandybear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I know you can't literally put a baby in my Babs. I mean, barring any Crisis where a male version of you pops out of the ether. Then I would take that pony to town."</p><p>"Good lord."</p><p>"I've asked him too. But, if wishes were fishes..." She sighed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reproduction Isn't Just For Dragon Mamas and Future AUs Anymore

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, that title is worthy of a Fall Out Boy/Panic! At The Disco song. Sorry about that. This is dedicated to YoungJustus of tumblr.

"I want to have kids."

  
Barbara side-eyed Dinah from her spot at her desk. Cassandra walked through the room in nothing but shorts and a towel not three minutes prior.

  
"I mean, other than Cass, Charlie, and Sin." Dinah re-iterated.

  
"Like, babies?" Barbara frowned.

  
She sent a message to Vixen and B'wana Beast about a disturbance in Detroit at the local zoo. Her mouth moved silently as she clicked open a window from the Justice League International. Booster appeared to be wearing a brassier on his head and frantically shouting about killer robots.

  
Dinah slammed a palm down in front of the monitor.

  
"Yes, babies. Barbara-Dinah shaped babies. Not to give the girls a complex, I love all of them equally. I just want... a squinty long legged redhead to carry me up the stairs when I get old and feeble."

  
Dinah flopped against Barbara's chair with drama, as if swooning to show how decrepit she had already become.

  
Barbara massaged her sinuses and patted blonde hair affectionately.

"Babe, while I'd love to, biology doesn't work that way. We can't just... scissor a child into existence. Helena shoo."

"No, no, no, by all means. Continue. Don't mind me." Huntress was sporting a black eye and eating cereal, watching the exchange with interest.

"I--"

"If it helps, you were talking about scissoring to make babies."

"Leave!"

"What's scissoring?" Cassandra asked from the other room.

Barbara facepalmed.

"It's tribadism."

"What's tribadism?"

"Rubbing two vaginas together."

"Oh. Are we all out of cereal?"

Helena hid the bowl and scooted into the next room.

Alone at last, Dinah tugged Barbara away from her desk and got on her knees. She pressed her face into her partner's lap and exhaled.

"I know you can't literally put a baby in my Babs. I mean, barring any Crisis where a male version of you pops out of the ether. Then I would take that pony to town."

"Good lord."

"I've asked him too. But, if wishes were fishes..." She sighed, "Look, I know you can whip up some computer magic to find us a super smart, super athletic redhead who is also attractive. You have the technology."

"The fact that you used the term 'computer magic' concerns me about your knowledge of such things."

"Whatever. Just put in the search terms and find some sperm. I'd suggest hitting your brother up, but... yeah... serial killer sperm."

Barbara flashed her teeth in a wince. She took off her glasses to look Dinah directly in the eyes. She pushed blonde hair back from her forehead. The roots were starting to show.

"Are you sure this is what you want? Even with the perfect donor, it might not actually take. I don't want to put you through that kind of pain."

"I know all about sperm not taking, Babs. After the fifth try, Ollie and I went to the doctor. Turns out we had a 33% chance of reproduction. It was hard, but freeing to know. We'll check for that first this time."

She pulled Barbara down for a kiss. First one, then two, three pecks, the fourth deeper and with a playful amount of tongue.

"I'll start looking for a donor."


End file.
